just to pique your interest.
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A Sampler of Passages from Dear Elaine, just to pique your interest. |
| Chapter 1: CARRIBBEAN DISCOVERY 
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On our easy stroll that day down the lazy mile to the rocks where our beach ended, we sang in rhythm with the soaring birds above and the graceful sailboats on the water. It was on this walk that day that Elaine met Marla. Near the rocks before we headed back, we saw her standing at the water’s edge looking out on the bay. She had a headset on under her flapping coolie hat, and her body was responding the rhythms she was enjoying. Why not go over and get acquainted? |
| Chapter 2: THE GIRL THAT I MARRIED 
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There was harmony from the beginning. When I first met Elaine Naeseth—it was my first week as a freshman at Luther College—it was to sing. She sang alto and I tenor. Elaine was starting her second year and had already established her reputation as a rising musical star on campus. I had read in College Chips, our student weekly, a glowing review of her performance of an original piano composition. All through college Elaine and I were good friends, nothing more really. |
| Chapter 3: FLYWAYS OF THOUGHT 
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Elaine, dear… Sometimes I swear we must have been born identical in the same placenta, but got mixed up in the hospital; but that can't be, because I was born at home, in the very same room where I gave birth 33 years ago. You may not recall what you wrote about Bob, but I could have written it about Al, who is neither a sports watcher or participator, loves to putter indoors and out at home, likes occasional company… That was a beautiful page; I wish Bob could have read it. I read it to Al—he mentally hugs you too! My love, Marla |
| Chapter 4: WORD POWER 
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I had lessons with a master teacher, Alexander Lipsky in NYC. The pressure to practice came all from inside of me and saw and heard improvement week by week and LOVED it.… I have all the little books, like diaries, in which I kept notes about the lessons, what I was working on, why and exactly what and what he said, and I have a piano, some time...why don't I do it? Why did I stop cold and give up and lose it all? I don't know. That's over 20 years ago! I am trying to believe there is hope. Elaine, with love. |
| Chapter 5: DO YOU MIND BEING THE PAGES OF MY JOURNAL? 
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The excitement Elaine felt anticipating the St. Martin beach rendezvous with Marla was almost palpable, but both friends expressed curiosity about the changes in their relationship from correspondence to face-to-face contact: Dearest Marla, soon to be seen on other shores: I just want to say one thing about our being there with you: I don't want to interfere with your time alone or your time with Al. I had once thought of this as an ideal time for you and me to spend hours and hours together but I know already that we will take what we get in time together… S O O N, Elaine Dear Elaine — Yes, I have had some trepidation about our meeting after all these letters. But Elaine, we will just be ourselves, whether by letter or by verbal conversation… Love, Marla |
| Chapter 6: LIFE TAKES A TURN 
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Marla -- Life has taken a sharp turn! We don't know exactly what's ahead on the road but we are together in this new knowledge, as of last Friday, that Bob has prostatic cancer. Of course he immediately took action and has been having the necessary tests under the advice and counsel of a urologist and after the positive diagnosis of cancer, the bone scan was normal, we learned yesterday. We now have to wait until next Thursday for the next step…Meantime, Bob, being who he is, has been reading and learning about the possibilities of what lies ahead …Sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Elaine |
| Chapter 7: GLOOMY NORDIC GUILT 
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Elaine’s story cannot be complete nor understood without our shedding light on her childhood at Spring Prairie, Wisconsin. It was a story-book location that made them feel they were “in the country.” The parsonage, in a grove of trees, had a dignity and charm that impressed many visitors over the years.The Naeseth children could not escape the parsonage climate of moral rectitude that was mostly implicit: “We don’t do that. It would set a bad example. Remember who we are, etc.” The attitude was carried over from the piety and theological orthodoxy of Lutheranism of that period. |
| Chapter 8: A LETTER A DAY 
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Dear—my friend Elaine—out there somewhere, listening, feeling, holding, loving me—as I do you. I'm going over your last two letters. I guess what we give each other is the stream-of-consciousness letting-go, the closest, most personal part of ourselves, which personal contact could not make any closer…Thank you for telling me about what's been bothering you physically…It always helps when other people know and you don’t have to bear the burden all by yourself...Keep in touch with the eye problem, and what the prognosis is... Trust Elaine—keep in touch with her. She's a good person and usually knows what's right for her to do—I know, for I love her too. With love, Marla |
| Chapter 9: PROCESSING WORDS 
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Elaine discovered e-mail. She had been hesitant—fearful, it would seem—to interact with the computer. Machines often bugged her—VCRs, microwaves, answering machines, and even electronic calculators. One of her favorite computer places was a “meeting” labeled THE LANGUAGE, peopled by many who shared her passion for words, how they are spelled, defined and applied to communicate ideas. Suddenly here was a group of unseen folk who shared some of her interest and curiosity about words. |
| Chapter 10: GOLDEN MILESTONE 
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The health drama continues. Elaine is in the hospital for “tests.” The word is that she had a small stroke. Dr. Surimadra is an Indian neurologist. He seemed to confirm the stroke theory with his hammers and physical tests and now wants to find out what the damage is and whether it is progressive or now historical .I phoned Barbara first. She in turn phoned Sylvia for me and Sylvia phoned Richard. I phoned Paul at 6 and Peg at 9. I also phoned Louise and Elaine's sponsor. I am tired. It has been a long and difficult day. |
| Chapter 11: ELATION AND DESPERATION 
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I think we all sensed it. And dear Elaine, I believe, also knew. She wasn’t going to fully recover. Ever! And, indeed, after the mountain-top exhilaration of the Golden Wedding, a gradual decline in her health was apparent. Gloomy as that prospect was, no one in our family betrayed awareness of it. We all proceeded in our attempts to create a climate of joy and optimism. |
| Chapter 12: REHAB ALUMNA 
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Dear Mom, I just wanted to welcome you home from your adventure. It will be a different kind of being at home, but I am sure you will soon get used to zipping around in your wheelchair or with the walker. Lots of people do it! I am sure you will have plenty of catching up to do on your mail, e and snail. I hope you can relax and enjoy the taking care of you that you will need. Wish I could come and share in your homecoming. I love you. Sigrid |
| Chapter 13: STORMY WEATHER 
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Today is Mothers' Day...and, fortunately, it was Elaine's Day. She was in good form: smiling, happy, reasonably accepting everything. She woke up this morning to tell me, “The storm is over!” As with so many of her comments, that had a double meaning. We had a big storm last night—enough so that Barbara stayed over rather than hazarding the weather—and Elaine did have one of her emotional storms. I pray that Elaine's day tomorrow will be as bright and encouraging as today was. But, alas, it wasn't bright and encouraging. |
| Chapter 14: ER, MD, ET AL 
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Once we got into the examining room, Dr. O'Brien took one look at Elaine and said there was just no doubt but that she had had another stroke. His tests confirmed it: her lack of response and communication and her inability to move her legs when he asked her to. He said that it was her left side this time; that explains why her left hand is now limited as her right was previously. While waiting for the doctor, Elaine said to me, “I am scared!” She had said this last night also. I can tell. She knows there is a big problem and is terrified. |
| Chapter 15: REASSURANCE 
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From Your Children: In your eighty years you have performed many marvelous feats. And one of the hardest you have accomplished six times over! You have given us life. You have raised us to know that we are loved. From the first moment we looked up into your eyes from breast or bottle, to the last time we kissed you goodbye on our way out the door, we have been secure in the assurance that we are cherished and valued. You have taught us love. |
| Chapter 16: FINALE--REQUIEM 
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The nurse was here, and when I mentioned the difficulty of feeding Elaine she replied, “That is to be expected.” Okay. But it still was difficult. The heart beat was slower and weaker, as was the breathing. I think she hears and understands, but I feel she is just so weary that she really can't work at perceiving. Perhaps the stimulus ends with merely receiving, if that. I am sad at this. But I have been realizing that her survival has been so tenacious for so long it simply has to come to an end sometime—sooner or later. |
| Chapter 17: IMAGES AND MEMORIES 
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| Chapter 18: REMEMBERING 
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Peg: Her “fun spirit” involved music, too. One Sunday morning before church Mom took me aside and said, “Listen to what I’m going to play after the sermon. I think you’ll recognize it.” Do you know what it was? “Popeye the Sailor Man!” She played “Popeye the Sailor Man” in church! [Peg sang a bit of the tune.] She played it churchy-like and no one would know but us. An “in” joke, right? |
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| Page last modified by Richard Lee on 11 August 2006 | 
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